Interviewers want to hear about your qualifications, but they also want to be sure you’re a good fit for the team you’ll be working with. As we listen, fight the urge to find quick resolutions. Instead of letting not knowing stop you, just say you don’t know what to say. [IELTS Speaking] What to say when you DON'T KNOW what to say? It’s easy, just remember the word PRAY. If I’m hurting and someone throws a quick Bible reference to me to try and “fix” my problem, it isn’t comforting – it’s frustrating. Don’t play pretend with this one. Maybe they’ve experienced the type of pain a friend or a group of people in our culture is experiencing right now and can help us think through our own words. This item: What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say: In Times of Grief, Heartache, and Crisis by H. Norman Wright Paperback $14.99 In Stock. If you’re at a loss for words, it can really lighten the mood to crack a joke. First, take a pulse of the scene. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love.”. You can always express these later on after you’ve done some processing and reflecting. You’ve prayed all the prayers you know to pray, and you’ve done all the books say to do. Leaders are called to move into difficult situations. Have you ever wrestled with finding the right words when a friend, family member, or our culture is dealing with difficulty? Keep updated twice a month on the second and fourth Tuesday! I once spoke with a woman who was truly an expert in her field—the only engineer on her software team with a PhD. Letting someone know that you care for them, and that your heart is with them, can help them feel not so alone. 3 Things Society Doesn’t Want You To Know About Money - … Betterment is our new leadership calling, removing self-centeredness and finding ways to be a better leader to create a better business and society. Sometimes, just acknowledging the gravity of the news you’ve received can be enough. 12. Always use your best judgment and be sincere. Required fields are marked *. Comforting someone isn’t a comparison game. If you’re meeting someone at an event, for instance, asking what led them to the event is a great conversation starter. You can now use Cake to create, store, and share all your end-of-life documents. I felt this way a few weeks ago after the horrific events of Charlottesville. Even when we don't know what to say or do, we can speak up and simply state, "My heart is breaking for you. Accept. I am just going to ask.-- I know you love me and I don't think you are intending to be hurtful, so I need to tell you that when you say _____to me, it is very hurtful and I would so appreciate it if you would try to stop. You can always follow this up with offers of support or condolences. Whether it's the loss of a job, a marriage, or a life, in today's 24/7 world we're increasingly faced with uncomfortable situations where we don’t know what to say yet we're called upon to quickly respond -- online or in person. “I couldn’t be happier for you. If you are meeting up with some mutual friends, you can get things going by asking how they know your friend. The best conversationalists don’t know it all, they are curious. Realize that you don’t always have to have the best answer or say the … We might think we’re helping, but if we’re not careful, we can again shift the focus to us and away from someone who needs us to listen. But, as we express our care and concern, we should care and be concerned about the way we engage. Don’t cut yourself off because you don’t know what to say. I know when I’m hurting, I need the thoughtful words and caring presence of good friends. Eric is a Millennial who loves discussing culture, leadership, faith, and life’s biggest questions. If you’re on a date or meeting a new friend at a restaurant, food conversation is the perfect way to break the ice. In fact, we can use our words to demonstrate that we are listening to those who are hurting and hearing what is going on in our culture. ‘Thank yous,’ especially in the professional setting, can sometimes be uncomfortable. This should spur a conversation about music and could lead to TV, movies, and other entertainment topics. Even more so, it’s what loving people do. The GYST.com website is no longer available for use. A hug and a simple “I’m so sorry,” or “Praying for you and love you!” made a real difference for me. Perhaps you’ve felt similar. Then complimenting someone’s eyes or smile is typically a safe bet. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way. When you can’t sleep, pray Psalm 3:5. If we’re struggling to find the right words, it is a great idea to lean on those who have better words than us. Simply defined, aspire is an individual effort while inspire brings others into the mix. Big list of what to say when you don't know what to say: I am here for you. If you are struggling with what to say when your visit is over, instead of saying ‘I’ll see you next week,” say “until next time” or ”until we see each other again.” What to Say to a Family Member. — Suzyn J. Gonzalez (@suzynjgonzalez) February 20, 2019 Here are some ideas you can always expound upon. Put on the full armor of … Discover the best online memorial sites for remembering a loved one... Facebook. People love talking about their pets. In fact, sometimes it’s best to be slow with my words – my initial thoughts and words are often not going to be helpful. Remember that it is always okay to take a pause before responding. This one is similar to the basic ‘nice to meet you,’ but can be used when you’re saying goodbye to someone you just met. Don’t run from someone’s pain. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Your email address will not be published. The most important thing you can remind yourself when you’re not sure what to say is that you don’t have to say the ‘perfect’ or ‘right’ thing. “I lie down and sleep, I wake again because the Lord sustains … “I’m so happy I got to meet you today.”, 29. Ephesians 6:10-12. 13 Online Will Makers Compared: Which is Best for You. Start with some variation of it’s ‘nice to meet you,’ and see if they’ll return the sentiment and initiate more conversation. We don’t run from brokenness. You’re letting them know that their good news is your good news! Asking for details gives legitimacy to their good news. This will make them feel seen, show that you’re interested in talking to them, and give them a topic to share. Personally, the Bible has been a source of incredible comfort to me. If you aren’t sure how to respond to terrible news, letting the person know you are here for anything they need is a very supportive response. “If you wanna help or give words of wisdom just go for it, that’s why we are on here!” Eric Torrence suggests two things we can do to get to that sweet spot. Time to end all blogs, or at least, take a month off from publishing anything. If you think saying something funny will go over well, go for it! Don't shy away from using your words to weep with someone who can't stop weeping. Don’t compare to others’ struggles or minimize their pain. You feel the silence and wonder if you’re messing up by not having anything to say. Since I work in a church, I have seen countless times how someone has used a Bible verse out of context to try to “fix” someone. “Thank you for taking the time out of your schedule to meet with me.”, 22. “I … This link will open in a new window. Sometimes pain and grief are beyond any explanation. Grief, tragedy, disappointment, and struggle are unfortunately common experiences in this broken world. Share in their enthusiasm with a warm exclamation. READ 1 Corinthians 1:1-11. There are many situations in life where you may find yourself caught off guard and at a loss for words. It’s honest. Eric is married to his wonderful wife Amy and has two sons: Benjamin and Owen. P is for PRAISE. “This is the best news I’ve heard all day!”, 13. Sometimes the potential awkwardness leads us not to engage at all, which is a problem. Linked In. But despite her technical chops, people kept sidestepping her and going to her boss with questions that she could have answered. But don't worry! You can always follow this up with offers of support or, 6. Sometimes we can do unintended damage. Let’s speak up against hate, comfort those who hurt, and be present to help how we can. You can follow-up this exclamation for an invitation to a celebratory meal or drinks. This one also works if you are meeting a friend’s significant other for the first time. Pick one or two sayings for each scenario that resonate with you and make them your own. Here are 10 things you can say when you don’t know what to say (and even when you don’t agree with what the other person is doing): God loves you and that will never change. Be present. If you’re at a charity or corporate event and are seated next to strangers, ask this question to find out more about them. When someone tells you what's wrong with your work and how to fix it, the response is "Wow, I never thought of that." Remember to take a deep breath before you reach for one of these phrases. Good list, Lisa! Okay, we know weather-small-talk is so cliche, but hear us out. Here are some short and simple phrases you can use to kickstart a natural flow of conversation. Don’t say something silly out of nerves. I don’t know what to say, but I want you to know that I love you and want to help you carry your pain.” Don’t shy away from using your words to weep with someone who can’t stop weeping. Sometimes the potential awkwardness leads us not to engage at all, which is a problem. The upside is that the byproducts can be inspiring and push us to growth and improvement. This is a great way to make someone feel special. Maybe they say, “I know! 31 thoughts on “ 6 loving mantras to say when you don’t know what to say ” Andrew Budek-Schmeisser February 8, 2016 at 12:07 pm. We press into it. You don’t have to be perfect. It is okay and appropriate to express that you don’t know what to say. This has opened up the conversation to their career, and now you’re on a roll. “Thank you so much for this opportunity.”, This is perfect for the end of an interview, or in a, 14. And then you never have to. I’d love to hear more about it!”. People, 27. @austinkleon Another what to say when you don't know what to say: this one comes from my beloved thesis advisor. You don’t know what else to say, or what to pray anymore. Hiring managers appreciate this attention to detail. If you are a supervisor and are meeting with a team member, this is a great way to start. “How did you get involved with this event?”, Being curious is a great way to respond in a way that takes the pressure off of saying the right thing. When we feel like we're “in the middle,” pushing through can be difficult. “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. It’s a good idea to talk about an accessory rather than their appearance so it doesn’t come off as creepy or send the wrong message. He currently serves as an associate pastor over small groups at Chase Oaks Church. Don’t disappear because the topic of what happened makes you uncomfortable. Let them know you hear their pain – and sit with them in the middle of it. Here are some ideas of things to say in different scenarios you may find yourself in during an interview or in your workplace. You feel the silence and wonder if you’re messing up by not having anything to say. It’s a good idea to have a few phrases in your back pocket that you can use when the time presents itself. It’s always good to hide any non-joyous feelings that may come up for you — whether it’s doubt, concern, or even a touch of envy. Let the person know you are interested in them and that you are looking forward to your friendship to come. This is perfect for the end of an interview, or in a thank you note following the interview. If you think saying something funny will go over well, go for it! Developing one is the key so don’t get bogged down in the process. During tragic times when you don’t know what to say, we quickly revert to something that is familiar; our own stories, and the desire to fix their situation. GYST was acquired by Cake in 2019. What to Say When You Aren’t Sure What to Say After a Tragedy or Death, What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say After Someone Delivers Good News, What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say in a Professional Setting or Interview, What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say When You’re With New Friends or Strangers. But, often that comfort comes over time and with careful reflection. Here’s a list of 30 things to say when you aren’t sure what to say. having some reservations, more information might be just what you need to change your tune or consider how you want to broach a difficult conversation later on. You could also let them know you’re just a phone call away, or suggest some practical ways you can offer support through their difficult time. The most important thing you can remind yourself when you’re not sure what to say is that you don’t have to say the ‘perfect’ or ‘right’ thing. He/she is so fortunate to have you. This is a good one to have at the ready anytime somebody takes time to meet with you. But, people will remember you were there. The last thing you want to do is say something inappropriate or awkward. “I’m looking forward to getting to know you better!”, 25. Don’t try to make me feel better. Listening actually does involve saying something. .’ Saying that your heart is broken for them offers empathy and might help them feel less alone. Eric Torrence was born in the early 80s and grew up during the time of Apple 2Es, Oregon Trail, Saved by the Bell, and the birth of the Internet. He earned his undergraduate in Communications at UCLA and a Masters in Theology at Dallas Theological Seminary. He quoted Genesis 3:19 saying that we … This link will open in a new window. Hopefully, the conversation will take off from there. In those times I share with clients that I care and am a willing listener. Leaders are called to move into difficult situations. Don’t grovel, but do be specific. If you are meeting someone for the first time, and they have a pet with them, this is a great way to engage in conversation. Solving problems is what makes us a better leader, team member, and citizen. A friend suddenly lost a child. Simple and to the point — let them know how excited you are for them and get all the details. Have you ever wrestled with finding the right words when a friend, family member, or our culture is dealing with difficulty? Whether someone is sick, has passed, or you’re receiving some other tough news, this is a simple and warm way to express support. Listening is magnifying the voice of the person who is struggling. It would be very embarrassing if they realized you don’t actually know or enjoy the song. So, even when you don’t know what to say, show up. If you’re talkative like me, it is awkward when you don’t have the right words. I’m here for you. Being. Don’t run from someone’s pain. “There are no words to express what you must be going through. Follow. 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